Five reasons smoking has lost its cool

Smokers die young
We have all known this for a long time, and to be honest, it's just boring, smokers generally don't care for this factor anyway. Otherwise we wouldn't begin smoking in the first place. So lets move on...

It's just not cool anymore
Ok, smoking has had its time. It was cool, back in the 60's, when men wearing florals were cool, but not now.  We must now leave this addiction to the old alcoholics outside the pub, the emo kids trying to look hard and the chavs of this country.

It makes you smell
You can shower every morning, wash all your clothes, buy the fanciest perfume. But being a smoker means you constantly smell like an ash tray. Your hands smell, your clothes smell and your breathe stinks. Kissing a smoker for a non smoker must be awful, i've been told so myself. It certainly decreases the passion, being told you stink

It gives off the wrong impression
For instance, you get all dolled up for a night out. And you feel so good about yourself, then you notice that it is not the sexy young businessmen approaching you, but the old sleazy men asking for a shag behind a bus stop. And that's not a nice feeling. And for the male smokers out there, smoking does not impress the women, not even the women who smoke themselves, it gives off an aura of some careless attitude to life, and that's not what a woman seeks in a man.

It's expensive
We can cut down the cost of cigarettes by buying tobacco and rolling them up before the daily routine. But the prices are still sky high in the end. I am currently spending anything from £75 - £150 a month on smoking. And it can grow extremely tedious.
You can check how much you are spending on smoking, if interested, click this NHS link.
http://www.nhs.uk/tools/pages/smoking.aspx

My mother (who is a smoker herself) pointed out the obvious not long ago. She said, "when you are down, you will not burden yourself with the stress of quitting smoking, and when you are happy, you will not bother adding any more stress to your life". Such a simple point, but so true.

The time to quit is NOW.

The Kez has spoken. 

Turtles as pets? - An owners Review

Are you thinking of buying a turtle as a household pet? Well, as the owner of a beautiful terrapin, here are some things i would have much appreciated knowing before i bought my loveshell. 


Turtles are EXPENSIVE
Turtles alone aren't very expensive, not in comparison to tortoises which go in the hundreds, i got my adult female for just £20 at my local reptile shop. However, Turtles require a balanced diet of dry food, and fruit and vegetables. This can be quite expensive but it is very important, feeding a turtle dry food constantly is like being fed chocolate cake constantly, and it's just not fair. Also the tanks can be expensive, my tank cost me around a £100, with the heating and lamp included. My chemically washed rocks cost £30 alone...


Turtles STINK
Now don't get me wrong, turtles are wonderful, and smell lovely, but then POW. They shit. And it's unbelievable, i have seen baby terrapins poop and Ok, it's not that bad. But adult terrapins, it sprays out like nothing else. And can really clog up the tank. My turtle likes to poo when she's walking around outside the tank, and walks as she does it, so she leaves me a nice long trail of poop to wash up. Also, beware of the repulsive smell from the tank if you haven't washed it. It's bad... 


Turtles aren't loved by everyone
I've had police officers, leave the house and go back to their car upon seeing my turtle, and that's not actually a lie. Some people can get really freaked out by them, some people just feel sick and some feel fear. Which is strange for us turtle lovers, no one can understand what we see in them. No one in my household can tolerate the turtle, but to me, she is adorable. So this is something to consider i suppose.


Turtles take TIME AND EFFORT
Basically, cleaning the tank is a pain, and you have to do it often. My turtle also enjoys to stroll in the garden every now and agian, but i have to keep a close eye on her. 


Turtles HATE everything.
You can just see it in the turtles scornful expression. It looks at you with a constant critical eye. Turtles hiss like cats if you handle them too much, or if they are generally pissed off. And cuddling a turtle is possibly the hardest thing to do. If they are as big as mine that is. They scratch down your body with their immense claws, attempt to bite you and generally, just poo all over you. And it's runny too.


Turtles are NOT at all interactive
They are generally pissed off at being stuck in a shell, and struggling to move, they spend most of their time hiding and pretending to be a rock. And they don't have any love for you what so ever, they just stir at you with that same sour expression. 


On the contrary...


Turtles are rare pets, and can fascinate some people, rather than make them feel ill. They are beautiful little creatures who stay with you a long proportion of your life. And can be great little friends when your down. They don't ask for much really, just to be kept healthy. I personally love my turtle to bits, even though she hates me. And have had some joyous occasions with her. (see below)

See Zappa Napoleon II here.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=104464722928968&ref=ts


The kez has spoken.

Brachymetatarsia.

A close friend of mine suffers with a condition called Brachymetatarsia. For those of you who have never heard of this, here is a brief summary.

The condition is basically a single toe, that starts further up the foot than the others. It is caused by a bone being too short in the foot. This condition can cause extreme embarrassment to some who suffer, leading to self confidence issues. Some feel the need to cover there feet at all times, some even opt for painful surgery to place the toe in a more 'normal' place. However not my friend, who lets it all hang out, after all, Brachymetatarsia is a facinating and rare thing.

Hollywood actress, Jennifer Garner, also has Brachymetatarsia. (See above)

Having a toe like this is a gift, it's my all time favourite party trick. Seeing peoples drunken faces light up with delight as the wrath of the toe is unleashed. However, It is described as a deformity, and sufferers must 'free themseleves from years of bondage', according to cosmetic surgeons.

Well i'm sorry, but these toes are much appreciated, and people shouldn't feel like they need to change themseleves in any way. And yes, for those of you wondering, there is such a thing as a Brachymetatarsia fetish, some people go crazy for it, Seriously, google it.

See my friends foot above, she prides her epic toe.

I hope from this entry you have gained a fair knowledge and appreciation for brachymetatarsia. And if you have this condition yourself, don't be afraid to show that tasty toe!

Show your support and join a group dedicated to my friends toe on facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000040632659#!/group.php?gid=129450587067889&ref=ts

Thanks for reading!

The most humiliating death ever.

Aeschylus the Greek playwright, died in 456 BC, after having an eagle drop a turtle on his head.

Talk about shell shock...